Jmo is Elfing Around

I am happy to announce that I’ve found a new home. No, Jenna hasn’t kicked me but thanks for worrying. Lyrical Press has just contracted my Holiday Comedy, Elfing Around, just in time for Christmas. I am proud to be a part of this fantastic family of authors, especially since I’ll be there with my favorite Blog Bud, Morgan O herself.

So how does one celebrate the upcoming release of what is soon to be a holiday favorite? You Elf Around of course and get as naughty as you can before they jerk all your presents out from under the tree. To get y’all started, here’s an excerpt from Elfing Around. Go ahead read. Santa’s not watching. I checked.

Lyrical Press Inc

December 1, 2008

Excerpt

I’d seen enough cop shows to know when they said freeze you were supposed to get your hands up. The last thing I needed was to be shot to death by a Barney Fife wannabe so I popped them suckers up like I was a one woman wave. He had that damn light blinding me, so it wasn’t like I could run away.

“Okay, missy. Keep ‘em where I can see them. No funny stuff, either. My gun’s got a hair trigger and I ain’t afraid to use it.” The cop yelled in a nasally southern drawl.

Dear Lord, it was Barney Fife. Maybe, if I tried to reason with him, he’d let me go. Last time I checked standing on a street corner wasn’t a crime.

“Sir, I’m sure that this is all a big mistake. If you could tell me what I’ve done, maybe we could work this all out.” I leaned into the light, not above flashing a little cleavage if it got me away from this cop and back to my comfy little tent.

“Alright, you tuck them goodies back where they belong.” He snarled, but I could see him stooping forward to take a look. Pervs were the same all over.

Just because he might end being a pervert, didn’t necessarily mean he was going to be a push over. I needed to figure something out or the boss was going to blow his lid. I didn’t need him to come down here and bail me out of jail. Somehow, that didn’t sound like a good thing. Santa wasn’t big on felons in the work shop, besides he might just let me stew in my juices until after the big night.